Aphex Twin's non-Aphex Twin stuff: A review of sorts

Here are my top ten Aphex Twin tracks that weren't released under the Aphex Twin moniker. Enjoy. There are also Youtube streams here for each of the ten tracks. Enjoy those as well! I have written a little bit too.. you won't enjoy that though.


10. Arched Maid Via RDJ
AFX - Hangable Auto Bulb (1995)

With the breakbeat-flirting drumming that sounds as if it could lose control at any time, it keeps itself well restrained, and lets the pretty amazing synths wow us as well. The final track from Hangable Auto Bulb, and an anagram of Richard David Jame.


9. W32.Mydoom.AU@mm
AFX - Analord 11 (2005)

One of the better moments on the excessive Analord series, this track slowly builds up yet flies past until you don't even know your feet are tapping the floor. Well, my feet. Nine minutes of darkening bliss. Yes, darkening.

8. PWSteal.Ldpinch.D
AFX - Analord 08 (2005)

A simple yet effective beat and a melody that doesn't stray too far away from comfort can't stop this from being an addictive piece of music. Not bad for a trojan horse huh

7. We Are the Music Makers (Hardcore Mix)
Caustic Window - Joyrex J9ii (1993) / Compilation (1998)

If you're in the mood for Willy Wonka samples but haven't got the time nor the will to listen to thon seven minute version from Selected Ambient Works 85-92, then check this shit out. It's nothing like the original - save for the sample - and it's fucking awesummm.

6. Audax Powder
Polygon Window - Surfing on Sine Waves (1993)

If it wasn't for the stall at the end of this track, this would be perfect on SAW85-92.

5. On the Romance Tip
Caustic Window - Joyrex J5 EP (1992) / Compilation (1998)

Another track that could fit into SAW85-92 so, so snugly. As it is, it's stuck on a couple of Caustic Window releases, only be listened to by those delving deep into James' back catalogue.

4. Reg
Mike & Rich - Expert Knob Twiddlers (1996)

Stuart says: nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw

and so do I. The most memorable track from this collaboration with Mike Paradinas; it pretty much starts off with nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw, the strangest 'vocals' I've ever heard in James' work, tails off into two minutes of pondering rhythm and then straight back to the almost stupid, but ridiculously catchy nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw. I'd just like to mention nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw again.

3. If It Really Is Me
Polygon Window - Surfing on Sine Waves (1993)

A lovely piece of laid-back early nineties house which is just perky enough to keep you alert. Sublime.

2. Every Day
AFX - Hangable Auto Bulb (1995)

I once read somewhere (Wikipedia probably) that the vocal samples are from a recorded phone call with James' mother Lorna. I dunno if that's true but whatever it is, he's utilised it well. There's no one dominating aspect of this.. the beats, the chorus, the melody.. stunning. Get me another shirt.

1. Crying in Your Face
AFX - Analord 04 (2005)

Thom Yorke played this on Radio 1. Nuff said.


The pedantic cunt in me wants to tell ^ this guy he's been tagging it incorrectly.

Aphex Twin.

Pouring water into a glass you'd earlier threw six teaspoons of sugar in, but forgot, and drank it: A review of sorts

2/10

Drag Me to Hell: A review of sorts

Funny bits from Drag Me to Hell

• When the woman asked what did I want, and I was like "ah drag me to hell there" and then we all giggled
• When the aul woman's teeth fell out and she tried to bite the blonde chick but it was just her gums on her chin. Oh man :'D
• When the blonde chick was all I BEAT YE YE AUL BITCH and the aul woman brought up a brick and was all RARRRRR
  
• When Apple did a bit of product placement MAC WOO! iPHONE WOO! That's not really that funny tbh
  
• When John jumped a mile after the aul woman appeared in the house
• When the fly went up the blonde chick's nose and out the other nostril and then forced its way between her lips. FLIES DONT DO THAT!
• When the blonde chick went to kill her cat and was all "HERE KITTY KITTY"
• When the blonde chick spewed nosebleed all over mr manager and mr manager was all FUCK IS IT IN MY MOUTH BLEHHHH
• When Rham Jas kept saying "Yes", a la Borat. YES
• YES
• YES
• When the blonde chick was at the aul woman's wake and SHE KNOCKED OVER THE COFFIN AND SHE WAS ON TOP OF HER AND ALL THE ICKY FLUID WENT ON HER AHAHAHAHA
• When the blonde chick went into the hut to collect some pawnings and the aul woman randomly appeared and her eyeballs hit the chick. Pretty much every appearance by the aul woman is hilarious
  
• YES
• When they brought a goat out. I can't remember why the cinema and I laughed
• When the other guy was infect wit da demon and spat out blonde chick's kitty "I DONT WANT YOUR KITTY" then he danced for a bit
• I'LL GIVE YOU A TIP YOU WON'T FORGET
• When Stu came in with his leather jacket and cried PLEASE DON'T TELL MY DADDY all within thirty seconds
• When the aul woman is being windscreen wipered
• YES
  
• OH I'LL SHOVE IT IN HER MOUTH
• When the button is being forced upon the aul (dead) woman and then she floats towards the blonde chick and the blonde chick gets wailed by a tombstone
• When IT WASN'T ACTUALLY THE BUTTON
• When SHE DIED IN THE END

Drag Me to Hell: YES 8/10

Mind the Drift: A review of sorts

JESUS, IT EVEN HAS POLAR BEARS. COULD THIS BE ANY BETTER?


No, it couldn't. A different approach to their previous albums, (There's a guitar!) the Biz have certainly grown since their sludgier beginnings (There's an actual guitar! One that isn't down tuned to fuck!). With the addition of Toshi Kasai, producer of the most recent Melvins album, the band keep up your interest with twiddley guitar bits (albeit them over some of the most satisfying sounds that can be made from the rhythm section) and everything.


And to be honest, when news first arrived of Kasai's joining, I was a bit anxious that the Biz would loose their distinctive sound. Thankfully, they haven't! That's not to say they haven't progressed, but if you were a fan of the first two albums, then this is one for you. Warren's bass is still rockin', and Coady's still beating the shit out of his drums.


Mind you, they're not as primal and raw as their first, or even second outings. They've really matured here. Despite the lyrics. "CATS. MICE. SHINY DICE!"(or something), "Stop chasing rabbits, God damnit, it's not how we planned it!", there's an emotion that wasn't present, or at least not at the forefront in the past. There's feeling to this album, surrounding the rock-the-fuck-out-ed-edness (Yes, that is a word). Great album.





/10

Dinner: A review of sorts

• Purdies
• Sausages
• Bacon
• Chicken Nugget
• Dairylea Triangle
• Gravy
• 2 generous slices of Madiera Cake (buttered)

Calories: Too many
Rating: 8/10

Nine Inch Nails: A review of sorts

- That's What I Get is good
- The Only Time is good
- Ringfinger is good
- Hurt is good
- Ghosts I-IV is good
- Discipline is good
- Echoplex is good

Nine Inch Nails.