A review of sorts: 2009

Gigs 2009: A review of sorts

5. Thomas Truax
Lavery's Bunker, Belfast, June 9
My third time seeing crazy old Thomas, and he never gets old. Not least because he has a new set of songs to try out, songs that are from the films of David Lynch. Baby Please Don't Go used to be played by Belfast rockers Them back in the aul days, In Heaven was delightfully weird, the stripped down version of Bowie's I'm Deranged was beautiful, the "corny" Twin Peaks theme (with lyrics!) and of course I Put A Spell On You - Mr Truax made them all his own. Unfortunately he didn't play the fantastic Wicked Game, but he did regale us with fan favourites Full Moon Over Wowtown and The Butterfly & The Entemologist. I haven't even mentioned his invented instruments yet!

4. And So I Watch You From Afar
Mandela Hall, Belfast, April 4
Locals boys done good! Hundreds of fans descended upon the Mandela Hall to witness ASIWYFA's debut album launch, and what an album launch it was. Right from Set Guitars to Kill the whole Hall was in a mood for going crazy and being in awe (a good combination). I also fell in love with Adebisi Shank that night

3. Jandek
Elderfleet, Larne, July 19
A Texan in a bowler hat, a Scotsman, and a ..woman play their instruments with a seemingly casual disregard for rhythm, nonstop for an hour and a half, with Mr Representative occasionally groaning out "get in the phooooootttoooooo". It's better than it sounds. A hilariously wankered tracksuit-wearing local passed some of his time heckling the performers and joining in with the singing - that'll be fun to hear when Larne Sunday gets released around 2015.

2. Mogwai
Academy, Dublin, March 22
Cody? Auto Rock? Jim Morrison? Christmas Steps? Hunted by a Freak? WE'RE NO HERE??
The lovely Mogwai (fronted by the lovely Stuart Braithwaite) play a lovely selection of tracks to a lovely bunch of Dubliners (who can keep their mouths shut throughout, unlike those nasty Belfasters) in the lovely Academy on a lovely Sunday night. It was lovely. Bit loud though.

1. Electric Six
Academy, Dublin, December 5
Best band ever plays awesome gig. Doesn't really need an explanation!

Film 2009: A weview of sorts

5. 2012
Wibble wobble wibble wibble end of the wibbly world. Wibbled wibblings. Wibble wobble "Is Wussian". Wibble wobble London Undergwound map. Wibble wobble utter destwuction. Wibble wobble Nick Griffin. Wibbtastic! 8/10

4. The Hurt Locker
Wibble wobble I-waq bomb squad. Wibble wibble wibble boom! Ministwy wibble a wibble or three. Wibbly. 8/10

3. Drag Me to Hell
Wibbing funny. "Hey kitty kitty", Stu, old woman, jumpy wibbs. Wibb wibby weview, false teeth and wibbs. 8/10

2. District 9
Wibb wibb focking wibb. Pwawns wibb South Afwica wibb wibby apartheid wobbly boom boom fock. WIbbing Nigerians, sad, but wibbly. 9/10

1. Inglourious Basterds
Wibble wobbly wobb Quentin Tarantino wibbles Nazi-killers and wobblings. Bwad Pitt wibble wobble hilarious, bang bang boom (wibble wibble). Wibb wobb wabb tense wibble and Oooh that's a bingo! Wibb! 10/10

Wibble.

A is for A review of sorts

S is for Sounds like a collaboration between ASIWYFA & Adebisi Shank

D is for Drums, Djangy guitars - Dis is pure ASIWYFA

B is for Bring me the A-Side!

K is for Kickass traK Kum on album no.2

The Letters EP: 9/10

Tiësto - Kaleidoscope: A review of sorts

1. Sigur Rós guy on a trancey record? It's certainly better than Poppiholla.
2-5. These are mostly all the same thing except with different guests singing. Too poppy IMO, and bending towards the shit-pop end of the spectrum at that.
6. Has beardy guy on it. Not as good as the last beardy guy/Tiësto track (Ride) but nb by any means.
7. Nice short instrumental
8. Fucking KELE! It's better than Bloc Party.
9. I dunno how to describe this. Elements of trance, elements of dance, elements of Detroit techno?
10. I FUCKING LOVE Calvin Harris. Even though his vocal contribution to this is the incredibly cheesy 'Hello! Can you hear me? Now put your hands in the air for a century / Hello! If you hear me Now put your hands in the air for a century' Fantastic dance track. I know this because I danced to it. Did I mention I love Calvin Harris?
11. Meh. Fuck off Tegan & Sara
12. About romance + not going home 'til the sun comes up.
13 + 14. These two remind me of David Beckham. idk
15. He liketh the dance-pop i c

16. It's like a less Traffic-y 'Traffic'
17. Quiet ambienty and trancey without the trance. Would fit in well at the beginning or end of a future In Search of Sunrise, so it would.

The iTunes Album Review Rating Thingy says....

8/10

I'm going to take off a point for the album art though, and because it doesn't deserve 8/10

Tiësto - Kaleidoscope: Not trancey enough. Too dance poppy. Good nonetheless but wears some kind of gay jacket. I love Calvin Harris. 7/10

Listen: Spotify

The E.N.D.: A review of sorts

+ You're so 2000 and late

+ Rock That Body is fookin amazin. Because Fergie you can't hear Fergie as well

+ I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good good night

+ You don't wanna have sex with me? Then why you keep texting me?

+ I recognised the Bow Wow Wow sample approximately 0.3 seconds in

+ Myspace in your space / Facebook is a new place / Dip divin’ socializin’ / I’ll be out in cyber space is only slightly better than Youtube, Facebook, Myspace, IM!

- It's shit.

3/10

Aphex Twin's non-Aphex Twin stuff: A review of sorts

Here are my top ten Aphex Twin tracks that weren't released under the Aphex Twin moniker. Enjoy. There are also Youtube streams here for each of the ten tracks. Enjoy those as well! I have written a little bit too.. you won't enjoy that though.

10. Arched Maid Via RDJ
AFX - Hangable Auto Bulb (1995)

With the breakbeat-flirting drumming that sounds as if it could lose control at any time, it keeps itself well restrained, and lets the pretty amazing synths wow us as well. The final track from Hangable Auto Bulb, and an anagram of Richard David Jame.

9. W32.Mydoom.AU@mm
AFX - Analord 11 (2005)

One of the better moments on the excessive Analord series, this track slowly builds up yet flies past until you don't even know your feet are tapping the floor. Well, my feet. Nine minutes of darkening bliss. Yes, darkening.

8. PWSteal.Ldpinch.D
AFX - Analord 08 (2005)

A simple yet effective beat and a melody that doesn't stray too far away from comfort can't stop this from being an addictive piece of music. Not bad for a trojan horse huh

7. We Are the Music Makers (Hardcore Mix)
Caustic Window - Joyrex J9ii (1993) / Compilation (1998)

If you're in the mood for Willy Wonka samples but haven't got the time nor the will to listen to thon seven minute version from Selected Ambient Works 85-92, then check this shit out. It's nothing like the original - save for the sample - and it's fucking awesummm.

6. Audax Powder
Polygon Window - Surfing on Sine Waves (1993)

If it wasn't for the stall at the end of this track, this would be perfect on SAW85-92.

5. On the Romance Tip
Caustic Window - Joyrex J5 EP (1992) / Compilation (1998)

Another track that could fit into SAW85-92 so, so snugly. As it is, it's stuck on a couple of Caustic Window releases, only be listened to by those delving deep into James' back catalogue.

4. Reg
Mike & Rich - Expert Knob Twiddlers (1996)

Stuart says: nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw

and so do I. The most memorable track from this collaboration with Mike Paradinas; it pretty much starts off with nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw, the strangest 'vocals' I've ever heard in James' work, tails off into two minutes of pondering rhythm and then straight back to the almost stupid, but ridiculously catchy nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw. I'd just like to mention nyeahnyeahneyahnyeah yeahkappa paw again.

3. If It Really Is Me
Polygon Window - Surfing on Sine Waves (1993)

A lovely piece of laid-back early nineties house which is just perky enough to keep you alert. Sublime.

2. Every Day
AFX - Hangable Auto Bulb (1995)

I once read somewhere (Wikipedia probably) that the vocal samples are from a recorded phone call with James' mother Lorna. I dunno if that's true but whatever it is, he's utilised it well. There's no one dominating aspect of this.. the beats, the chorus, the melody.. stunning. Get me another shirt.

1. Crying in Your Face
AFX - Analord 04 (2005)

Thom Yorke played this on Radio 1. Nuff said.

The pedantic cunt in me wants to tell ^ this guy he's been tagging it incorrectly.

Aphex Twin.

Pouring water into a glass you'd earlier threw six teaspoons of sugar in, but forgot, and drank it: A review of sorts

2/10

Drag Me to Hell: A review of sorts

Funny bits from Drag Me to Hell

When the woman asked what did I want, and I was like "ah drag me to hell there" and then we all giggled
When the aul woman's teeth fell out and she tried to bite the blonde chick but it was just her gums on her chin. Oh man :'D
When the blonde chick was all I BEAT YE YE AUL BITCH and the aul woman brought up a brick and was all RARRRRR
When Apple did a bit of product placement MAC WOO! iPHONE WOO! That's not really that funny tbh
When John jumped a mile after the aul woman appeared in the house
When the fly went up the blonde chick's nose and out the other nostril and then forced its way between her lips. FLIES DONT DO THAT!
When the blonde chick went to kill her cat and was all "HERE KITTY KITTY"
When the blonde chick spewed nosebleed all over mr manager and mr manager was all FUCK IS IT IN MY MOUTH BLEHHHH
When Rham Jas kept saying "Yes", a la Borat. YES
YES
YES
When the blonde chick was at the aul woman's wake and SHE KNOCKED OVER THE COFFIN AND SHE WAS ON TOP OF HER AND ALL THE ICKY FLUID WENT ON HER AHAHAHAHA
When the blonde chick went into the hut to collect some pawnings and the aul woman randomly appeared and her eyeballs hit the chick. Pretty much every appearance by the aul woman is hilarious
YES
When they brought a goat out. I can't remember why the cinema and I laughed
When the other guy was infect wit da demon and spat out blonde chick's kitty "I DONT WANT YOUR KITTY" then he danced for a bit
I'LL GIVE YOU A TIP YOU WON'T FORGET
When Stu came in with his leather jacket and cried PLEASE DON'T TELL MY DADDY all within thirty seconds
When the aul woman is being windscreen wipered
YES
OH I'LL SHOVE IT IN HER MOUTH
When the button is being forced upon the aul (dead) woman and then she floats towards the blonde chick and the blonde chick gets wailed by a tombstone
When IT WASN'T ACTUALLY THE BUTTON
When SHE DIED IN THE END

Drag Me to Hell: YES 8/10

Mind the Drift: A review of sorts

JESUS, IT EVEN HAS POLAR BEARS. COULD THIS BE ANY BETTER?

No, it couldn't. A different approach to their previous albums, (There's a guitar!) the Biz have certainly grown since their sludgier beginnings (There's an actual guitar! One that isn't down tuned to fuck!). With the addition of Toshi Kasai, producer of the most recent Melvins album, the band keep up your interest with twiddley guitar bits (albeit them over some of the most satisfying sounds that can be made from the rhythm section) and everything.

And to be honest, when news first arrived of Kasai's joining, I was a bit anxious that the Biz would loose their distinctive sound. Thankfully, they haven't! That's not to say they haven't progressed, but if you were a fan of the first two albums, then this is one for you. Warren's bass is still rockin', and Coady's still beating the shit out of his drums.

Mind you, they're not as primal and raw as their first, or even second outings. They've really matured here. Despite the lyrics. "CATS. MICE. SHINY DICE!"(or something), "Stop chasing rabbits, God damnit, it's not how we planned it!", there's an emotion that wasn't present, or at least not at the forefront in the past. There's feeling to this album, surrounding the rock-the-fuck-out-ed-edness (Yes, that is a word). Great album.

/10

Dinner: A review of sorts

Purdies
Sausages
Bacon
Chicken Nugget
Dairylea Triangle
Gravy
2 generous slices of Madiera Cake (buttered)

Calories: Too many
Rating: 8/10

Nine Inch Nails: A review of sorts

- That's What I Get is good
- The Only Time is good
- Ringfinger is good
- Hurt is good
- Ghosts I-IV is good
- Discipline is good
- Echoplex is good

Nine Inch Nails.

Lost Season 5 Finale: A review of sorts

FUCK!

Lost Season 5 Finale: FUCK! Can't wait for Season 6. 9/10

Randall Newman - Toy Story: A review of sorts

David says:
i like how the hold steady sound like randy newman

Randall Newman - Toy Story

This mostly instrumental album by arranger Randall Newman is his twentieth effort, and bears the unmistakable touch that is a Randall Newman album throughout. Starting off with jaunt number "You've Got a Friend in Me", Newman tells the listener about the qualities of other people, but also that we can have a great friendship. "Strange Things" is the best track on the album - ain't no doubt about it. Telling the story of one's downfall from a position of respect and power, it remains fairly upbeat, especially in the brass and drums sections. Great wee keyboarding too! "I Will Go Sailing No More" is a song depicting the character again looking back on his former achievements. A short burst of optimism is then followed by despondent resignation. A sad song, I'm sure you'll agree. I can almost imagine a toy cowboy jumping off a staircase to this...

"Andy's Birthday" marks the end of Newman's singing for a while, in this ever-changing piece about the titular event. I must mention the bass riff and the accordin. THE BASS RIFF. AND THE ACCORDION. There. And all your orchestral sounds that usually appear on Disney films. Four tracks pass in the following five and a half minutes that aren't too brilliant, y'know. The start of "Buzz" can't fail to give you goosebumps, though. "Sid" is also fairly average. "Woody and Buzz" doesn't really get going until halfway in, but once it does, it's one great mood after another, just like the following piece "Mutants", and "Woody's Gone".. and "The Big One".. and so on... they're all pieces of mood-kneejerked orchestra ok? The penultimate track "Infinity and Beyond" is the best of the instrumental bunch. Military-esque, Christmas-esque, and greatness-esque all at the same time!

The final track is a reprise of "You've Got a Friend.." and country dude Lyle Lovett lends his vocals to this version. While Newman's singing on the first track is great, it can't hold a candle to Lovett's dulcet country dude tones. He should have left his bumbling non-country dude singing off this one and allowed Lyle full reign over larynx duties.

The cover art unusually neglects to add Newman's face and instead he opts for a colourful image of a cowboy staring in awe at what appears to be a toy astronaut. It's a welcome change.

Because I listened to this on Spotify (Walt Disney Records decline to send me a copy), a couple of adverts were interspersed throughout. "Say Yes to Safe Sex" is fronted by some Irish doll who doesny look too bad ;) "Upgrade to Spotify Premium!" features Jonathan Idiotface, who annoys me.

Randall Newman - Toy Story: Fairly good. 7/10

Listen: Spotify

Assault on Precinct 13: A review of sorts

has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? says:
"Assault On Precinct 13"
Johnny B. Goode says:
idk is that good
is sammy el jackson in it?
h says:
i dont think he's in it
its some 70s film

J says:
:O
HE SHOT THE LITTLE GIRL
omg

h says:
lmao @ this film
J says:
still wtaching it!
omg
good then?
h says:
nah its rubbish
the woman is VERY annoying
like
VERY
J says:
well lets hope she gets killed!
*safety wink*
h says:
lmfao
this is so rubbish its great

h says:
im halfway through part 7
SHE'S DEAD!

h says:
no one actually shows ANY emotion in zis fillum
J says:
of course not!
theyr men damnit
even that wee girl who was killed
she was the manliest of all
h says:
i heard they got a boy to play her part
J says:
i feel lied to
they cant get away with this
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
h says:
hollywood is a crule world
J says:
one of the many reasons i prefer bollywood
that and the dance routines
h says:
wtf
the dances are SHEEt
J says:
cha cha cha!
h says:
i like the storylines in bollywood
bear in the blig blue bhouse?>
blouse*
J says:
yes that is indeed awesome
lol the porno?!
h says:
i miss bear in the big blouse
brb film

h says:
well that was a bit rubbish
J says:
tehehe
RATING OUT OF TEN
h says:
idk
4
most of those for being rubbish
J says:
no no no
you take points away for being rubbish!
h says:
ah fuck
J says:
silly billy
h says:
how much do i give it then
J says:
idk you watched it
a million
h says:
sounds fair to me
A MILLION/10

Assault on Precinct 13: Some 70s film. A bit rubbish. 1000000/10

Watch: Y o u T u b e .c o m